Saturday, July 25, 2009

Tommy Up Officially Throws Down The Gauntlet, Publicly Challenges Stephen Starr To A Burger-Off

pyt burger bar piazza at northern liberties in philadelphia
Inside PYT | Photo via PYT

As many of you have surely heard, earlier this week, Tommy Up tweet-challenged Stephen Starr to a "Burger-Off," putting his PYT Burgers up against those of Starr's SquareBurger.

In the days following, Up has gone on a full-on tweet assault at Starr, with several directly at @starrrestaurant.

Now, he's written a formal declaration that is way beyond the 140 character limitation of Twitter.
PYT VS Stephen Starr

"War is a continuation of politics by other means"
- Carl von Clausewitz

It's hard to say where the war started. If I had to guess, it would be when Stephen Starr smugly proclaimed, "I can't get really good pizza here in Philadelphia". But to lay that bit of blasephmy [sic] down as the sole cause would be too simple. I think it all started with the pajamas on servers and the conveyor belts for food.

I remember in high school, there was this wrestler who widely thought to be unbeatable. He was a brute. We all heard the stories of how his parents had flown him to Russia to train with the greatest combatants in the world and that he had won 1000 matches before he was 13. He was an unstoppable force and had dominated the state for years. Until he was stopped and pinned to the mat... by a previously unknown 17 year old child. The child had not believed the stories of this prodigy and he trained for a full year, alone, carrying monster truck tires up and down the stadium stairs with only one simple goal in his mind: I will win.

So Stephen Starr, we say to you, and to your legion of SRO minions all wearing identical black suits and black t-shirts that have been washed one too many times: we are your 17 year old unknown. We make a better burger than you and we will prove it.

Going after your latest venture, Nerdburger- sorry, SQUAREburger- makes the most sense. We are both new and are both focused on the burger. But it has been brought to our attention that the burger there is hardly worthy of a challenge. So we extend with confidence the challenge to any burger in any of your many, many venues. Burger VS Burger. Two burgers enter, one burger leaves. You get the picture.

Ignore this challenge if you you have been ducking me all week ( See Foobooz or Grub Street ), but you can't duck the truth. I stand here, a simple man, without a conveyor belt or an army of giant buddhas, waiting to beat your burger into the ground. Pun intended.

Tommy Up
Impressive, right?

Tommy Up has taken exception to Stephen Starr being quoted saying he can't really get good pizza in Philadelphia in this interview with KYW.
What started this all BTW, was Starr claiming "you can't get good pizza" in Philly. My people at Tacconelli are too nice to speak up. @tommyup
However, for the record, the quote that didn't make the original article was what Starr said immediately after that where he qualified his comment saying, "Tacconelli's in Port Richmond is excellent but in Center City there's really not a great place to get pizza."

Which is not a completely egregious falsehood. (You can listen to the full interview here.)

So that should mean that Tommy Up doesn't have to worry about defending Tacconelli's honor anymore.

As for the "Burger-Off" — we're all for that.

Square Burger makes a very good burger. The four to five ounce patty is cooked to a nice medium. It's moist and well seasoned. The meat itself has a good flavor. It's on a delicious grilled bun. And the best part: unlike a lot of reasonably good burgers around (what up Five Guys), it doesn't have a lingering dead weight effect after consumed.

We have not yet had a PYT burger. We'll do that soon.

As for Stephen Starr accepting the challenge; he has yet to either acknowledge or comment on it, so we'll have to wait and see if anything ever comes of it.

P.Y.T. Opening for the Third Time Tonight [ Grub Street Philadelphia ]
Clubber Up and PYT [ Foobooz ]
Pretty Yummy Thing: Tommy Up’s Burger Lounge At The Piazza [ Unbreaded ]


facepalm said...

tommy up sounds immature and desperate.

reading that twitter assault is painful, grow up dude

Anonymous said...

The $6 happy hour burger @ National Mechanic is better than PYT's prime time burger. This is not going to work out for PYT.

Jesse said...

Nice attempt at cheap publicity but he should probably hire a proof-reader.