Friday, April 28, 2006

Let the Cole Hamels watch begin

On Monday, the Phillies moved top pitching prospect Cole Hamels from Single A Clearwater — where he had earned a 1.77 ERA in four starts this spring — to Triple A Scranton, skipping Double A Reading entirely. Mike Arbuckle, the Phillies assistant general manager of scouting and player development, wanted to accelerate Cole’s development due to all the injuries he’s had over the past two seasons and thought the vetted hitters of Triple A ball would offer a better challenge to Cole than those in Single or Double A.

He may have been right, but the "more experienced hitters" did not turn out to be much more of a challenge for Cole yesterday.

In his first start as a Red Baron, Cole Hamels struck out a team record* 14 hitters in seven scoreless innings.

It was his fifth start of the year and considering that he only had 10 starts in the previous two seasons combined, it’s easy to get optimistic about both his progress and potential.

"If his ability is what we think it is, the opportunity will be here, sooner rather than later," said Arbuckle after the game, referring to the possibility of Hamels making the jump to the bigs.

We hate fighting optimism, and with three of the Phillies starters currently sporting ERAs of more than 7, frankly, we can’t afford to. Instead, we'll keep a hopeful eye on Cole. And see if he can't be what the doctor ordered.

Related:
Hamels: I’m too pretty for Scranton; I should be in Philly [Inky]

* For a lefty.

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Thursday, April 27, 2006

Breaking | Campbell’s Soup to Donovan: You're lucky we're local because normally we only take winners

Today, Campbell’s Soup announced its 2006 lineup of NFL quarterbacks with no acting abilities that it will traipse in front of the cameras and use to make a ton of surprisingly annoying commercials that will be aired on national television next fall.

Super Bowl champ Big Ben Roethlisberger and his mother Brenda will join the fun. So will Super Bowl loser Matt Hasselbeck and his mum, Betsy.

And yes, Donny Mac is returning. He and Wilma complete the triumvirate of Campbell’s Mama’s Boys.
"Returning for an unprecedented sixth season, Donovan McNabb will again be featured along with his mom and Philadelphia Eagle's [sic] "Team Mom," Wilma McNabb."
Is it ok that this kinda disappoints us?

Meanwhile, has anyone else noticed that the talent Donovan brings to do the commercials with him has deteriorated recently? Before Donovan had his nervous breakdown, players like Westbrook and Kearse were in the ads. Towards the end of last season it looked like Greg Lewis and Reno Mahe were the best recruits Donny could get.

Is Donovan threatened by having good players in the commercials with him? Or are the good players worried about catching whatever neuroses Donny has by appearing in the ads?

We’re guessing the latter.

Related:
Campbell’s Chunky Soup adds two lame white guys, retains non-threatening black guy [PBJ]
Ain’t nothing wrong with a lil’ chunk [Campbells.com]

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Bad week for Philly’s addicts continues

First, it was a lethal batch of smack that was making its way through the streets of Philadelphia and Camden earlier this week. Apparently, the china white was cut with so much Fentanyl that it offed some nine users and sent countless (50+) others to area hospitals in just a few days. (This, of course, incited demand.)

Then today comes word that the Feds have put the kibosh on a major local ectasy ring, one that has been keeping Philly’s ravers happy for years. (Or months. We have no idea, really.)

However, the extra bad news for Philadelphia’s drug aficionados is that the 230,000 pills that were seized featured a tasty blend of ecstasy and speed, an explosive combination according to U.S. Attorney Patrick Meehan.
"The methamphetamine is a stimulant that will allow the person to continue to keep going when they mix it with the ecstasy it creates a party euphoria that keeps going."
You’re not kidding Patrick. The last time we mixed crank with disco biscuits, we’re pretty sure we ended up running laps across the Benjamin Franklin Bridge after single-handedly giving the lovelies at the Gold Club their most profitable three consecutive shifts ever.

Anyway, the pills were worth an estimated five mil. Somebody's not getting that bonus they were waiting on.

Related:
Canadians do, in fact, offer more to America than funny accents [KYW]
This is how drug testing is hurting journalism [Philebrity]
Worse than bad acid [Philadelphia Will Do]

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Tuesday, April 25, 2006

New magazine to chronicle the trials and tribulations of Philly's King of Bling

In the latest example that nothing is a greater badge of honor in the social circles of Philadelphia’s upper crust than committing federal crimes, Ted Beitchman, former deputy chief of staff to Mayor Rendell and convicted felon to boot, held a party last week to launch his newest magazine, Philly Sport.

Judging by the preliminary cover, we're guessing Philly Sport’s inaugural issue features an in depth profile of Howard Eskin, one that examines how he can love Andy Reid so much. We wouldn't be suprised if Howard interviews himself for it.

And honestly, we're thrilled. Because if Howard Eskin isn't someone that we all need to be hearing from more, we don't know who is.

Looks like Philly Sport is going to make a killing.

Anywho, the launch party was held at Twenty Manning, which is owned by one of Beitchman’s muses, Ms. Audrey Taichman.

[Un]coincidentally, Audrey is on the cover of the current issue of Teddy’s other rag, we mean mag, Real Philly.

Related:
Howard to Audrey: what the fuck do you mean you won't put the game on? [Daily News, third item]
Howard Eskin just picked you to lose [HowardEskin.com]

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Further evidence that Allen Iverson should never, ever be traded

One of the coolest t-shirts we’ve seen in a long time.

It's true.

(By local artist Thom Lessner, from Space 1026. Thanks to l.e.zymes for the heads up).

Related:
Buy that shit direct from the artist, yo [Market East]
Allen Iverson loves you more than you’ll ever know [YouTube]
Earlier:
Allen loves Philly; does Philly love him back?

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Daily dose of B.S., courtesy the Eagles' front office

Yesterday, Jeffrey Lurie extended the contract of his good time pal, Joe Banner, through 2010.

In the article/release on the bird's website, Lurie offers this support for his bud: "Joe is invaluable… to the Philadelphia community as a whole."

Really. Didn’t even realize Joe was tackling that nasty murder problem.

But the best snippet comes from Joey B himself: "Our belief is teams that have significant successes are teams that aren't afraid of… taking chances."

Right Joe. You guys built this city on risks.

Tell us Joe. How many times you going to play the T.O. card?

Eagles to fans: you just got five more years of awesome [philadelphiaeagles.com]
Joe Banner on the intricacies of cap space [Morning Call]

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Sunday, April 23, 2006

Fasano's Paisanos would have been better

Why Sal’s Pals? Are we alone in thinking Fasano’s Paisanos would have been a lot better. And don’t even start with us about any concerns with its so called political correctness. It is in no way meant to be derogatory. The Phillies certainly didn't have any sensitivity concerns about Padilla’s Flotilla.

Sal’s a first generation Italian American that embraces his heritage. His favorite food is beef ravioli. He regularly visits South Philly’s famous Italian Market. And one of his favorite perks of his new city of residence is all the great Italian restaurants blanketing South Philadelphia. Thus, we’re sure he’d be psyched if his fan group showed a little love for South Philly’s heritage too.

Meanhwhile, Sal is definitely trying to channel what he can from Macho Row. Look at this photo — even the man’s sunglasses scream 1993.

In related news, the Phillies are hosting three College Nights this week (Monday, Tuesday and Thursday), in which anyone (not just college students) can get $7 off tickets they buy online by using the promotion code, which is, cleverly, COLLEGE.

After our experience at college night last week, we have come to expect two things from any future college nights: 1) attendees will drink more than normal, resulting in more verbal (and probably physical) assaults than usual and 2) there will be more tail than usual around the concourses of CBP, the lot of which will be on the receiving end of said verbal harrassments.

It all makes for some good secondary entertainment. We definitely recommend attending at least one. Monday is also another Dollar Dog Day. Thursday is a business person special and a Rooftop Thursday. And Wednesday is just a good way to break up the week.

Oh and earlier today Ryan Howard again showed that he can indeed reach Ashburn Alley with a donger. We’ll be waiting for his next one in our favorite spot, which is also a great place from which to watch the game: in the Alley, right above the visitors’ bullpen, perfect for a little heckling.

Related:
Phillies: We’ll give you a $7 ticket discount if you promise to spend at least twice that on beer [Phillies.com]
Sal’s Pals more entertaining than the Phillies [700Level]
Earlier:
Phanatic turns 28; Ryan Howard delivers presents
Ryan Howard likes us
Sal: It’s like eating pork chops from a can

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Phanatic turns 28; Ryan Howard delivers presents

Today is the Phillie Phanatic’s birthday. It’s cool that the Phanatic is so respected in the league that mascots from across the league came to the game today to help him celebrate, including Lou Seal, Mr. Met, Billy Marlin and the Green Monster. The Zooperstars are in town as well. Roger Clamens just devoured an umpire, probably in retaliation for tossing Chase Utley and Charlie Manuel in the first inning.

Anyway, the Phil’s are currently up 4-2 in the seventh, as Brett Myers put in six strong to follow up last week’s shutout.

And Ryan Howard is a one man wrecking crew. His donger in the bottom of the second was an absolute badonkadonk. It cleared the batter’s eye wall in dead center and went into Ashburn Alley. We’re pretty sure no one has ever hit it over the wall like that at CBP before. 496 feet. Ridiculous.

In his next at bat, he slapped one into the left field seats for donger number five of the year. The marlins appear to have learned their lesson: they intentionally walked him in his third at bat.

Related:
The Phillie Phanatic has a ton of friends [MySpace]
The Phanatic grinds on some grandma [PhiladelphiaWillDo]
Ryan Howards kills baseballs [espen]

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Thursday, April 20, 2006

Breaking: Saliva Slingers return to the Illadelph tomorrow night

The last time we saw these guys, 2004 was peacing out and 2005 was like, “what up sluts?”

The Slingers did their best to mark the moment — in fact, they killed it.

This weekend, they’re making their highly anticipated return to Philly for a short (but surely a very sweet) set at Shouk in Queen Village / Bella Vista.

And by the sounds of things, Lee En Zymes is ready to spit some sick shit.

Saliva Slingers, 4.21.06
10 p.m., Shouk
622 S. Sixth St., 215.627.3344

Related:
Slingers: Which baby animals is the cutest? [MySpace]

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Cheez whiz. I need some cheez whiz!

The 1990s + 9th and Passyunk + the punk Martha Stewart = awesome.

It's all about 'the Philadelphia lean.'

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Ryan Howard likes us

How do we know this? When we go to games he hit dongers, improves his season RBI total by 150% and drives in the game winning run in extra innings to give the Phils their second win at home all year.

We’re flattered Ry-dog. We just might have to go to more games.

In other news, Rick’s hates dollar dog days. This shot is from around inning #5. Poor Rick’s. The timeline chronicling the history of the cheesesteak that they’ve prominently displayed does not seem to be doing its job of wooing customers.

[Click to Enlarge]
It’s a shame too, because the cheeser we tasted from Rick’s was mighty fine.

And finally, we want to confirm that the only respectable place to sit at CBP is not a seat at all. It’s the standing room only area in Ashburn Alley. The bar that’s perfect for placing your beers, dogs and cheesers as well as leaning on. The strategic location above the visitors' bullpen. The raucous atmosphere of fans who started drinking hours before the first pitch. It just makes for good baseball watching.

(Especially when compared to the atmosphere you would get if you sat in your seats, where disinterested lamedas look at you critically when you stand up to cheer on Gavin to strike out a hitter with two outs and a full count.)

Last night was extra loud. We must have seen the cops kick out like five people, and all of them from the alley. Below, we unintentionally caught some of the fans up in the bleachers heckling one of the drunks as he was hauled off by the five-O.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Phils hate CBP; hot dogs to the rescue

Dollar Dog Day at Citizens Bank Park is upon us. There’s simply nothing like baseball and some sweet, sweet alliteration.

Moreover, it’s a gorgeous day (approaching 77°). The Phillies are 1-6 at home this year. Arthur Rhodes and Geoff Geary hate ERAs below 10. And Bobby Abreu doesn’t know what defense is. What could make for a better time to head down to South Philly for some beers and baseball? You guessed it, nothing.

We’re headed to CBP tonight to watch 1) Gavin Floyd try to follow up his first decent outing of the year with another one, 2) Bobby Abreu short arm a few more fly balls and 3) Ryan Howard hit a donger or two.

It should be a fine time. See you out there.

Related:
Phillies: We’ll shoot free hot dogs out of a giant canon [Phillies.com]
Bobby Abreu: It’s like they expect me to actually catch fly balls [Inky]

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Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Breaking: Camden seeks to stop the bullets with bloggers

Camden (yes that Camden) is looking for some 200 bloggers to attend the first ever Camden Waterfront Attractions Blogging Days. To be held May 19-21, 2006, Camden’s “Blogging Days” are to consist of these bloggers enjoying complimentary admission (for the blogger and a guest) to three Camden Waterfront attractions: Adventure Aquarium, Battleship New Jersey and Camden Riversharks. In return, each participant "will be encouraged to share their honest opinion of each attraction that weekend on their personal blogs.”

“In the end,” says Hope Koseff Corse, Director of Marketing and Public Relations for the Battleship New Jersey, “we will pour over these blogs and learn so that all of us can be the best attractions we can be.”

There you have it folks. Camden wants you tell them what’s up. Like why the fuck the closest Patco stop to the waterfront isn’t close, or why the walk to which is enough to make a young kid hate cities for the rest of their lives. (O.k., so it's not really that bad. Still, you'd like to see some foot traffic around transit stops.)

Ok, there. We started it. Now you try.

According to the press release, you’re supposed to go to contests.philly.com and fill out the application, but as of 4 p.m. Tuesday, there’s nothing there for you. So maybe check back a little later. Or don’t.

UPDATE: Blinq covered this earlier today. The Philly.com contest page, however, still doesn’t mention anything about ‘Camden Blogging Days.’

Related:
Bloggers to descend on Camden, fix everything [Philly.com]

Monday, April 17, 2006

Allen loves Philly; does Philly love him back?

The trade winds are already swirling. Is Allen Iverson going to be in Philly come fall?

Billy King deserves to be on a boat to Antarctica before A.I. even comes close to the trading block.

Obviously, this is going to be in the news off and on for the next few months, and as we’re a bit down now and don’t really want to talk much about the Sixers, we’re tempted to put this off for a bit. And for the most part we will.

We just want to say that Allen Iverson is the Answer. The answer to Philadelphia’s championship draught.

And trading him would be the biggest mistake the Sixers organization could ever make.

There are a number of reasons why things did not work out this year for the 76ers, including everything from Willie Green’s injury and Mo Cheek’s coaching to Chris Webber’s lack of mobility and John Salmons lack of skill.

But the biggest reason is the Sixers organization, and predominantly the team President and General Manager. Billy King has one chance to redeem himself. And we’re going to give it to him.

There is a trade he should make this summer. It would involve one Chris Webber, a little Kyle Korver and a helping of Samuel Dalembert. In return, the Sixers should receive Mr. Kevin Garnett. Plus or minus Korver and a draft pick.

It does not involve Allen Iverson.

All we know is that if Allen Iverson is not a Sixer next year, we’re calling it quits. And we mean for good. Not only will we be done with the Sixers, we’ll make it our mission in life to make sure everyone who had a hand in escorting A.I. to the door, goes down and goes down hard. That means Maurice. That means Billy King. That means Howard Eskin. That means Ed Snider. That means everyone that works for them. That means the entire Comcast Corporation. We don’t know where it will lead.

But hey, now we’re just being dramatic. It won’t come to that. Billy King is not as dumb as he’d like you to believe. After all, he did go to Duke.

Related:
Trade Billy King, not Iverson [Inky]
Earlier:
Ed Snider and Billy King to wed
Ed Snider to WIP: I Sell Oranges
Charles Barkley Redux

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Friday, April 14, 2006

Clip o' the Week: Lingering in love's fragrant valley

Is that French for syphilis?

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Sal Fasano is going to like Philadelphia. Um. Yeah.

Jim Thome hit his sixth homerun last night. We're just saying. It sucks that if the Phillies were in the AL, they could have both JT and Howard. But since we ain’t got no DL, we had dump a big time player in order to get another, younger, big time player into the big time. The American League is bull shit. (Note: We're entirely behind Howard.)

J-Roll has a six game hitting streak and is batting .395. The only game this season he didn’t hit safely in was game #3, the game in which his hit streak came to an end.

Sal Fasano's going to like the Illadelph. “I was never a full-blown alcoholic; I just liked to drink… You don't leave the ballpark until 11:30. The only things open are Taco Bells and bars. So you either eat Taco Bell or bar food. Sometimes bars don't have food so you end up eating a pork chop in a can.” Word, Sal. Word.

And he’s doing it Philly style.

Sal as Yankee:

Sal as a Phillie:

That's what we're talking about.

Related:
Sal on Gnocchi and Ravioli [Inky]
Thome's four game homer streak [SN]


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Thursday, April 13, 2006

Breaking: Jim O'Brien confirms, Billy King is a no talent ass clown

From today’s daily dime on espen:
"I really don't think I needed to feel vindicated. We took a team that won 33 games the year before and won 43 and got them into the playoffs. What is interesting is that Billy King is starting to realize his young players are not as good as he thought they were. When we took over in Philly and he told me of his opinion of all his young players, I did not agree that they were nearly as good as he thought they were. Defense is hurting them badly. We were 11th in field goal defense last year and now they are 22nd." - Jim O'Brien
Oh shit. You mean Dalembert and Korver aren’t playing like they’re worth a combined $85 mil?

Related:
King: I have no idea what I’m doing [espn]
Earlier:
Ed Snider and Billy King to wed

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Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Breaking: Smoking bans hurt bars… NOT!

This picture (from today's Inquirer) says it all. We should be really worried about a smoking ban keeping these customers away from the bar. Give it a fucking rest already. It doesn’t affect shit, except making 97% of the population a whole lot happier. California. New York. Ireland. Spain. Italy. You know we could go on. If these coots are too stubborn to see that their second hand smoke is fucking up the health of others, the cost of which every American is footing via rising healthcare costs, then fuck them.

And yes, there is the argument out there that we could be the one city that allows you to smoke and there are tons of hipsters that would love that. But we think that’s a hook we'd rather stay away from: “Come to Philly… where you can die/kill yourself.”

In related news, John Street has yet to find his backbone.

Related:
New Jersey smokers proclaim: we’re not finished being complete fucking morons yet [Inky]
Philly City Council reaches new depths of ineptness [Inky]
Take your time on that smoking ban. [Philebrity]
How Big Tobacco uses and abuses the restaurant industry [TobaccoScam]

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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Darren Daulton hits ludicrous speed

Sunday’s sports center bit was nuts. In said interview, Darren Daulton disclosed that he had time-traveled and, wait for it, that he time-travels regularly. He then proceeded to tell those concerned about him to relax: “Don't worry about Dutchie. Dutchie’s fine.”

Tonight promises to be even better: HBO Real Sports goes in depth with Dutch in order to discover just what, if anything, is going down on 12.21.2012.

Both of these pieces need to get on Youtube, like, yesterday.

(The best part of the Sports Center interview? When John Kruk cameos and stands up for his bud. "I'm not going to sit here and say he's crazy just because that's the popular thing to do right now." Motherfucking John Kruk — you always were the classiest member of Macho Row. We definitely respect your style.)

Related:
Out of Left Field [HBO]
Fire Charlie, Hire Dutch [700Level]
Yo, Homeboy be Crazy! [noobsports]

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Willie Green is buckets

We like this team so much more with Willie on it. It’s like night and day.

He played beautifully down the stretch last night. (That he's playing crunch time in his fifth game back from major knee surgery speaks volumes about him.)

We are so accustomed to the Sixers chunking it in the end of games like last night’s that we actually were surprised when they pulled away from the Wiz instead of the Wiz pulling away from them. A total stand-up effort to close out a hard fought game that was full of runs.

Build on it boys. Build on it.

(And how about Jasner confirming what Sixer Shots has been saying all along.)

Related: Clogging up the middle [Inky]

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Monday, April 10, 2006

Rendell to Wachovia: You guys hate fun

The Wachovia USPro Cycling Championship is no longer. Alas, the Charlotte-based bank, that also lends its name to a center and spectrum that are close to our hearts (albeit via hand-me-down naming rights), belatedly opted to sever its relationship with the race last October. Then, as an extra kick in the balls, the competition was stripped of its designation as the U.S. Cycling Championship.

Needless to say, things were not looking good — Philadelphia was in danger of losing the race altogether.

That would have really disappointed everyone we know that lives in Manayunk. They, like, totally love to drink. A lot. And when you take away a reason for them to drink during the day, they get, like, hella pissed.

Luckily, they have a sympathizer in H-burg. Ever the Philadelphian and, perhaps more importantly, never one to shy away from a good time, Fast Eddie Rendell has stepped in to save the day… at least for the time being. The Govna announced yesterday that the state was tossing in the needed money to sponsor the race this year, while a permanent sponsor is sought for 2007 and beyond.

So say hello to the new Philadelphia International Cycling Championship. It’s new but old. At 22 years, it’s actually the longest running cycling race in the U.S. It just has a new name. And is no longer an official U.S. cycling event. Whatever. Kudos to the organizers for sticking to their guns and welcoming Internationals; why’s everyone trying to be so xenophobic these days?

Mark your calendars for June 11, 2006. Race starts at 9 a.m. A few hundred thousands spectators turn out for this thing. So basically the only difference for Manayunk is that it’ll be overrun by drunks a little earlier than usual for a Saturday.

Rock. We’re totally going.

Related:
Rendell: I live in East Falls but I drink in the ’yunk [ProCycling]
US Cycling: Our US Open is not what you'd call "open" [6ABC]

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Breaking: Dunphy ditches West Philly in favor of North Broad

As speculated, Fran Dunphy will indeed be leaving the storied halls of the Ivy League to take the reigns at Temple.

We’re actually totally fine with this. We never thought Dunphy was the best of coaches. Of course, hopefully he proves us wrong and helps Temple bring the A-10 back to relevance.

As for Penn, we’re looking forward to the Quake hiring someone young and competent. It was only a few years ago that Ivy League was on the brink of sending multiple teams to the big dance. After what the MVC and CAA did this year, the Ivy League should start to expect their teams to do more than just show up at the tournament. They need to start winning games. And you need a good coach to win a game.

Fresh blood can be a good thing for Penn basketball.

UPDATE: To clarify, Dunphy is definitely a good coach and a great recruiter. We've always thought his major flaw, however, was that in big games (read tournament games), the other team would make adjustments (usually around halftime) to stop Penn's offense and/or get past their defense, and Dunphy never seemed prepared or able to counter adjust. Stuck in the mud if you will. A one-trick pony. Pick your cliché.

Whatever you want to call it, it was a problem. Since 1999, Penn has had the talent to win at least two of their NCAA tournament games. Some think Ivy League teams should just be happy to make the tournament. We think that's a crock of shit. Both Penn and Princeton have programs that could make Gonzaga-caliber leaps into big-league ball with a few successful tournament runs. They just need a few good men to guide them. (Princeton was close in 2000; then they got figged.)

Related:
Dunphy chooses Temple over Penn State, Georgetown,
Ohio State, and his alma mater La Salle twice
[DP]

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Sunday, April 09, 2006

The Inky catalogues teachers who’ve made their students' fantasies come true

This should be of reference to the good people at Philebrity and their Hot for Teacher watch. The Inquirer had a nice piece on Sunday about the recent trend of female teachers taking sexual advantage of their increasingly young male students. Allegedly, it’s becoming somewhat of an epidemic.

Related:
The Unusual Suspects [Inky]
Hot for Teacher Alert [Philebrity]

John Salmons can't even dribble

We only saw bits of last night’s game, including garbage time down the stretch, when the Sixers were up by more than 20.

However, in the roughly two quarters of play we did see, John Salmons had to lose control of the ball at least four times. A couple of times he was bailed out by the ref calling touch fouls. Others, he just dribbled the ball into a Chicago player’s arms.

We’re convinced that he wouldn’t get any PT in the ABA.

Why is he a Sixer? Why does Mo insist on playing him so much? He’s really, really, really bad. Someone make it stop. Please.

Related:
Sixers shoot 39% from the floor, act like they’re good [Inky]
Earlier:
Yo Mo, Salmons has to go

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Welcome to Boom City, GA

It’s a sunny day in Augusta. Who’s going to be happier later today, Elin or Amy?

We’re thinking Amy.

She’s been boosting her man’s confidence.

"When we're lying in bed [after doing it], I'll say, 'Honey, I know this is the day…”

Whatever the outcome, should be a good afternoon of golf. Freddie Cup is in the last group. That's just sexy.

Related:
Amy Mickelson gets personal [Augusta.com]
Masters Leaderboard, live [Masters.org]

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Friday, April 07, 2006

J-Roll: I'd have traded in the streak for the win

Great article on espen. Apparently, Jimmy’s teammates were not too into his streak. Meanwhile, J-Roll, the man that he is, liked that the streak was getting the team a lot of attention. The team.
In the ninth inning, the Phillies needed to put two runners on base to give Rollins a final shot at extending the streak, but they went down meekly. If you happened to check the Philadelphia dugout, there wasn't a single player leaning over the rail in anticipation. Maybe they were all jockeying for pole position on the food spread.

When a reporter asked him Thursday if he felt relieved that his streak had ended, Rollins refused to give the conveniently aw-shucks response. "I like the cameras around our team,'' he said.
It’s pretty fucking pathetic when you can’t get your leadoff man a fifth at-bat. And even worse when no one is too interested in even trying.

Fuckin' chokers.

Related:
Rollins is the man [ESPN]
Earlier:
Phillies suck, Rollins suffers

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Thursday, April 06, 2006

Phillies suck, Rollins suffers

The Fightin’ Phils just went down in order in 8th and 9th. In so doing, they totally fucked Jimmy Rollins.

Abreu, Utley, Burrell. Out. Out. Out.

Howard, Bell, Lieberthal. Out. Out. Out.

Jimmy, don’t worry about it. If you weren't on team that was comprised entirely of total fucking chokers, your streak would probably be alive.

Fuck Jason Isringhausen. The guy is a fucking goon.

(It was still one hell of a fucking streak, Jimmy. Congratulations on a job well done. We’re just a little pissed right now.)

Related:
Hitting streak ends, JRoll still the man


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Tuesday, April 04, 2006

And the winner is…

Before we announce the winner of the 2006 Hotties of Philly Local News contest, we’d like to thank all of the nominees for being so gracious and accommodating in their schedules.

You are all such great sports. Not one of you posted a nasty comment or sent a single mean email. That's awesome.
Your profession is so classy. The respect you have for each other is amazing. Inspiring really.

Ok, enough gushing. On to the meaningful part.

But before we blurt out the winner’s name, let's go through a quick timeline to see how the voting progressed.

Friday, March 24, 4:43 p.m.

The polls have been open for just over one full day, and with 15 votes registered, Erin O’Hearn and Jessica Borg are tied for the lead with four votes each, going into the first weekend. We wonder: does ABC have a lock on this with the two early frontrunners being proud WPVI'ers?


Monday, March 27, 4:39 p.m.


We are only somewhat surprised to see that Kerri-Lee Halkett has jumped into the mix and is tied with Jessica at eight votes for second place, one back of Erin’s nine. After all, KL holds a strange, spell-like control over her viewers. It's a scooch creepy.


Tuesday, March 28, 12:42 p.m.

Today, we're not suprised when we tally the latest figures
we are shocked. Kerri-Lee has jumped from 21% to 31% of the vote and has a double digit lead in percentage points. WTF?


Wednesday, March 29, 8:00 p.m.


With 100 votes in the bank, Erin has closed in on Kerri-Lee a bit, but KL’s lead seems to be pretty solid. She has 29% of the votes, while Erin is at 23%, Alycia at 15% and Jade, Jessica and Maria at 12%, 11% and 10%.

Ouch. Maria’s our girl
nobody puts her in a corner. What the hell is she doing with only 10 votes? And Jessica in fifth? Again, what the shit is going on here?


At this point we posted an update, letting you know that KL was taking this whole thing extremely seriously and seemed to be intent on making sure the younger girls knew that she was still a force to be reckoned with.

And that's when it got interesting.

Thursday, March 30, 4:00 p.m.

By Thursday afternoon, Maria had exploded back into contention, leapfrogging from last place to second, just four votes behind KL, who was still in first.

About time. Maria, don't you worry. We know you got it.


Thursday, March 30, 7:34 p.m.

Holy Jessica Borg! No sooner had Maria jumped into second place than she was overtaken by the saucy brunette from Long Island. Jessica moved past both KL and Maria to take over first place. She had 24% of the vote to Maria’s 22% and KL’s 21%.

Hold up a min. Shit, this is like camping – we need to catch our breath.


Friday, March 31, 12:24 p.m.

Oh snap, is Jessica going to run away with it? She’s up to 29% of the vote. Where is this Jess contingent coming from? Why are they late to the party? Is Jessica going to win? If so, I wonder if she’ll be appreciative enough to take us out for a steak. Hey, we did go to the trouble of having the contest…


And that’s how the standings were as we entered into the final weekend. Not out of reach, but if Erin, Alycia or Kerri-L were going to make a comeback, they were going to need to make a serious move. Maria was only nine votes back. She could easily show a little skin during a few of her weekend forecasts and throw the pressure right back on Jessica.

Monday, April 3, 8:30 p.m.

Today, Blinq linked to the original Hotties post. Fuck. Is this going to skew the results? Jessica was just about to take us to dinner.

Tuesday, April 4, 9:00 p.m.

Well, today's the day. It's time to find out who will be leaving with all the glory. So without further ado, the #1 Hottie of Philly Local News 2006, as voted by you the people, is....


Jessica "da bidness" Borg


Congratulations to Jessica. We're, like, totally happy for you. Now effing call us already.

Meanwhile, the final standings proved that
FHM did, in fact, leave two of the hottest local news girls off their ballot. Fuckin' amateurs.

Jessica and Maria, we apologize for
FHM's oversight. Hopefully, you are comforted by the fact that you're on television from time to time.

Fun stuff.

Earlier:
Hotties of Philly Local News, 1.0
Related:
Searching for beauty in the news [FHM]

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Willie Green returns, Sixers still awful

Willie Green returned to the court tonight for the first time since surgery on his knee eight months ago.

He made his first four shots from the floor, including one three. The Sixers rallied behind his performance and showed Lebron what's up.

Psyche. His teammates weren’t impressed. Uninspired play ensued. Some would call it pathetic.

We call it embarrassing. And a bit old. Learn a new trick boys.

Losing every game by 20+ is so 2004.

UPDATE: Chicago won last night. (They beat Indiana, which actually would have been great for us if we had won.) They're only a half game back now. The Sixers play Chi-town tonight. 7 EST. We’re totally torn. We’re not prepared to throw in the towel and accept the lottery, despite how bad the Sixers play every time we devote any attention to them. Fuckin’ chokers. Give Willie some more goddamn PT.

Related:
Sixers feed on fans’ broken dreams

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Sunday, April 02, 2006

Ryan Howard is a monster

He hit a donger into Ashburn Alley today. Sick.

Granted, it took one bounce off the visitors’ bullpen, but it was nonetheless ridiculous.

He could easily hit 45 homeruns this season. And that’s being conservative.

Good luck to him and the rest of the boys (especially J-Roll) in the season opener tomorrow.

Dare we say we feel good about this season? We dare.

Go Phils.

Related:
Phils go 19-11-1 in grapefruit ball [ESPN]
This is totally scientific. Totally. [USA Today]


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The Knicks — just what the doctor ordered

Two games vs. the Knicks over the weekend. Result: two wins.

The Sixers are now one game back of the Pacers for the seven seed and two and half back of Milwaukee for the all important six seed. There are ten games remaining in the season.

On Friday, we gave the Sixers an ultimatum. They delivered. Now, we’ll do our part. We’re entirely behind them for the stretch run. Win eight and the six seed should be yours.

Do it. Do it for your city.

Related:
Sixers poop on New York [ESPN]
Earlier:
No more tights for AI, C-Webb and the other AI?

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Saturday, April 01, 2006

Breaking: Forget Geno's, the Phillies heart good beer

Now we really can’t wait to get back to Ashburn Alley. As Joe Sixpack reported yesterday, it will be easier than ever to enjoy a quality brew with your hotdog at Phillies games this season.

For the past two seasons, we’ve been happy to make the trek around the concourse to the one beer cart (that we knew of) that sold Flying Fish at CBP. (It’s first base side, towards right field.) After all, you can’t find a beer like that at all at the Wachovia Center. Not that we’re beer snobs, but we definitely prefer a quality beer over watered down shite like Coors Light. And more importantly, we’re all about supporting a local company over some corporate behemoth.

This year, the Phillies are adding several Pennsylvania breweries to their repertoire.

In addition to the Flying Fish Extra Pale Ale (NJ) that we’ve enjoyed at games past, the Phillies will also sell varieties from Yards, Victory, Troegs, Sly Fox and Straub this year. In all, eight regional breweries will have their product sold this year at CBP. (Yeungling and Dock Street are the others.) They are all not new. The fact that Yards was sold at games last year is news to us — we would have been drowning ourselves in Philly Pale Ale had we known.

We’re most looking forward to the added Sly Fox and Troegs offerings, which allegedly will expand as the season proceeds.

Once we get to a game next week, we’ll report back with a little more information and direction, so as to keep you from wandering around needlessly searching for a frosty Troegs Sunshine Pils.

Thank God for spring. Thank god for baseball.

Related:
At least they got the beer right [Daily]
Earlier:
Geno's to Phillies: Eat Shit

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