Thankfully, Philadelphia is no longer the country’s capital

Because if it was, we’d probably shoot ourselves in the face. After, like, a day.

They had arrived at the fall party, Swine on the Vine, of the Capital Club, a Washington group of 100 politically connected young men, who are known for partying like they’re back at a fraternity kegger.
[…]
The dress code was preppy enough for a polo ground: women in pearl necklaces, lightweight wrap sweaters and jeans tucked into riding boots. Men favored oxford shirts with sunglasses strung around their necks. Jeff Kimbell, a lobbyist who is a former club president, wore a belt buckle made from a car’s gearshift handle (with options for “drive and reverse,” he said suggestively). Josh Overbay, who works for the United States Chamber of Commerce, wore a camouflage hat that said, “Support Wildlife. Drink Wild Turkey.”

“Girls love to hate them,” observed Bridget Bunner of the Capital Club’s 100 men. Ms. Bunner, a 23-year-old fund-raiser for Democratic Congressman Alan B. Mollohan of West Virginia, added, “They’re the kind of guys their moms want them to marry.”

Wow. Our eyes are actually bleeding.

“I hate when we get painted with that picture of a bunch of bratty kids or of a privileged young Republicans’ club,” said George Vincent, 25, a real estate developer. “I know a lot of the guys fit that, but not all. The Republican part works, but I’m not pretentious.”

Aww. Can you hear that? It’s the world’s tiniest violin playing a tune just for you.

Related:
Girls of the Madison and the Junior League fight to “be the ultimate trophy wife” of the “dirtbag” boys of DC’s Capital Club [NY Times]
Online viral video hits a little too close to home for the residents of Philadelphia’s Main Line [Philebrity]