Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Meet Billy King — dream-crusher and soul-taker extraordinaire

We could give a long spiel about how Billy King is an insufferable puppet, one that is trying to trade Allen Iverson for a lunch date with Jessica Simpson and a copy of Laguna Beach, Season Two on DVD, but others have already done so.

Billy King consorting with another DevilThus instead, here are a few clips.

Clip #1 from SI.com [emphasis added]:
Last season Iverson's scoring average actually rose from 30.7 in '05, when former coach Jim O'Brien made him the focal (and sometimes only) point of the offense, to a career-best 33.0 under friend and mentor Maurice Cheeks. […] How many 25-year-olds, how many players, can produce those numbers? And when you think about watching the 76ers, is there any legitimate reason to do so if Iverson's not on the floor?

The fact that Iverson has been so ardently shopped by Philadelphia general manager Billy King is hardly surprising. King is a man teetering ever so slowly at the edge of his plank. Since taking over as the Sixers' top basketball official in '03, he has seen move after move blow up in his face. He's had a Steinbrenneresque run of coaches (Larry Brown, Randy Ayers, Chris Ford, O'Brien, Cheeks) while handing out or assuming rich contracts of players who can't play defense (Kyle Korver, Chris Webber) and one who can't remember them (Samuel Dalembert). Since Brown departed after the '02-03 season, Philadelphia has gone an unremarkable 114-132 and made one playoff appearance.

The reality in Philadelphia is that there is only one more move for King to make. Cheeks isn't going anywhere; the popular coach would likely have to struggle for another season or two to be shown the gate. The draft isn't producing […] And the Sixers' "core" of Dalembert, Webber and Korver are owed more than $100 million in salaries over the next few seasons. It's unlikely that they can be traded for anything of much value. For King, the only answer lies in dealing The Answer.

The problem is that unless King is able to land one of the aforementioned franchise players (which he can't), any deal for Iverson will be the equivalent of getting 30 cents on the dollar. From a sheer marketability standpoint the Sixers would need Rocky Balboa to start a couple of games to fill as many seats as Iverson is capable of filling. Despite its woeful record, Philadelphia was fifth in the league in road attendance last season (ahead of powerhouses San Antonio and Phoenix), a testament to the drawing power A.I. possesses.

Assuming King ignores all of that and places his own motives above those of the team, the smartest deal he can make will be with a club in his own division.
Clip #2 from ESPN’s Bill Simmons [emphasis added]:
Q. Waiting for Billy King to pull the trigger on an Iverson trade is like watching your girlfriend drink too much at a party. […]

A. That's been the most underrated sports subplot of the summer -- every horrified Philly fan dreading the news that Billy King gave away Iverson. It's legitimately cruel. Hasn't this city suffered enough? […]

Billy King golfing, because that's how he rollsOn paper, Billy King can't screw up an Iverson trade because Philly fans would see right through the stereotypical three-nickels-for-a-quarter trade that never works. They're too smart for it. At the same time, he's Billy King. He's one of the worst GMs in any sport. He shouldn't have a job. And he's absolutely going to screw this up. There's no doubt. Even worse, he's dumping Iverson because he's made so many bad moves over the last five years, it's the only way to potentially improve the team -- they have no cap room and nobody else with any trade value, and he has to do SOMETHING because he's one more crummy year away from losing his job. Does that sound like a valid reason to trade a 33-point scorer for 60 cents on the dollar? I didn't think so.

If I were a diehard Philly fan, I would be doing everything possible to stop the inevitably dumb trade that's about to happen -- launching anti-King Web sites, protesting outside of radio stations, chanting Iverson's name at baseball games, you name it. To borrow Brendon's "drunk girlfriend" analogy, there's still time to throw her in a car and drive her home before she starts puking all over the place.
Wow. Those guys are saying some pretty similar shit… that, basically, Billy King is a no-talent ass clown who’s trying to take down Allen Iverson to save his own skin.

Please don’t let him.

(And fuck Ed Snider, an even bigger idiot who should have relinquished his job to Pat Croce when he had the chance had we only been so lucky, for forcing King to seek a trade. Earth to Ed: you don't know anything about basketball; please stick to hockey... a sport we could give a fuckall about.)

Related:
Billy Jean King is not my lover [SI.com]
Bill Simmons’ empathy — though appreciated — does us no good [espen]

2 comments:

Chris said...

I hate Billy King. I just hate him

Anonymous said...

billy king needs to be fired immediately, how is there no accountability for someone who can't do anything right?